7 Ways to Let Go of Fear and Trust the Process
Our lives are defined by our choices.
A good choice today can lead to a fruitful tomorrow.
A bad choice today can lead to an undesirable tomorrow.
However, it's not always that linear and often times the good and bad lines are murky and ambiguous.
In fact, it's almost never a binary choice between good and bad, but a gradient scale from 0 to 100 where both sides are equally good and bad depending on which perspective you're using in the moment.
As high performers, we get stuck in decision-loops running through pros and cons, second-guessing our commitment to our goals, weighing the probabilities of both negative and positive ramifications from our decisions.
We go on like this endlessly trying to uncover the perfect path forward.
What's strange though, is we often know what we really want, but we let fear get in the way.
We're scared of what will happen if we go for what we really want.
Scared of the effort involved. Scared of how we'll be perceived by friends and family. Scared of financial risks.
When we make decisions from a place of fear, we compromise on our hopes and dreams and take ourselves out of the daring adventure that is a life fully lived.
Decisions made from fear are a sacrifice at best. At worst, they're a steel cage of imprisonment.
In times of mental anguish, use these 7 tips to let go of the fear and to fully trust the process.
7 Ways to Let Go of Fear and Start Trusting the Process
1. Take a few slow deep breaths.
You have to start here.
The brain needs a continuous fresh flow of oxygen to function properly.
When we're stressed out and anxious from trying to make the perfect decision, we decrease that healthy flow of oxygen to the brain and only serve to make things worse, clouding our perspective when we need it clear most.
2. Remind yourself, "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now."
Yes, not knowing how it's all going to pan out can be intimidating and frightening.
And.
You're exactly where you need to be right now.
Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle."
If you choose everything, then you're always in the middle or a miraculous unfolding.
A lot of times that miraculous unfolding can look like a crummy job, or an ungrateful boss, or a distant lover.
The unfolding takes many shapes, much like the origami crane takes on plenty of less than beautiful forms before it is molded into its full form.
Tough times can suck.
People can be mean.
The journey isn't always roses.
But every moment of the journey is temporary. Both the good and the bad moments fly past us all the same.
Good or bad; wherever you are right now is a temporary moment of your journey.
Soak it in.
3. Ask yourself, "Why could this be happening FOR me?"
In the middle of a tough decision making process, it can be easy to slip into a 'woe is me' type of attitude.
A great way to get out of that funk though is to ask yourself what this could possibly be making space for.
Ask yourself, "What if the best is yet to come?"
Sometimes I find that it helps to make a list of all of the light that could come from the darkness.
Maybe a mountain of student loans helps you get creative about making money in new ways.
Maybe a bad experience with a boss teaches you how you never want to treat your own employees.
Trust that life is unfolding for you perfectly right now, and imagine how this could be beneficial.
4. Take Some Space.
The fragmented mind often comes as a result of being too close to our dilemmas.
Take a few steps away and go outside.
Get into nature.
Watch the birds fly around.
Bathe in the sun.
Watch the sunset.
Take your dog for a walk.
Do whatever you have to do to get some space between you and your mental predicament and just experience life as lived.
5. Decide to be Resilient
Make a pact with yourself that no matter how it all unfolds, that you will respond to life as powerfully as possible.
Believe in yourself to make the most of whatever life is going to bring your way.
Choose to see it as a lesson and to embrace it fully.
You have made the best of a bad situation before.
You can do it again.
6. Serve Others
Take the attention off of yourself and find ways to improve the lives of people around you.
Clean out your closet and donate some clothes.
Take a hike and pick up all the trash you see.
Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Just walk around opening doors for people and smiling at strangers.
Everyone is fighting their own battle right now and if yours is too mentally taxing to think about for the moment, go be the savior in someone else's story.
7. Everything In It's Rightful Place
Lastly, let's embrace some humility.
Let's remember that even though we experience life from behind the window of our eyes, we are not the center of the universe.
Let's take another deep breath as a reminder that you're still alive today and be grateful for that fact alone, good and bad be what they may.
Despite all odds, you are still alive.
An inconceivable explosion billions of years ago sent star dust hurtling through space that formed the building blocks of essential life-giving elements. Millions of years of biological evolution and thousands of years of agricultural and societal development have led to this moment right here.
Despite all the wars, the famines, the thirst, the corruption, and all the other tragedies, your genes have made it.
Despite the unfathomable number of decisions being made by billions of human beings around the planet at this very moment, you're still here.
It's going to be okay.
Even if it doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, good.
You're not in control.
The universe has other plans for you.
Embrace the unknown and trust that life is unfolding exactly as it should be right at this moment.
To solidify the essence of these 7 tips for letting go of fear and trusting the process, I leave you with
The Parable of the Chinese Farmer:
A Chinese farmer's horse runs away and a neighbor comes by to say, "What bad news that is!"
The Chinese farmer replies, "Maybe."
The horse comes back and brings with it another horse. The neighbor comes by again and says, "What good news this is!"
The Chinese farmer replies, "Maybe."
The farmer gives the second horse to his son, who rides it, and is then thrown from the horse and breaks his leg.
The neighbor returns and says, "Oh my, what bad news!"
The Chinese farmer replies, "Maybe."
Later that week, the emperor's men come to enlist every able-bodied young man to fight in the war.
The farmer's son is spared from fighting because of his broken leg.
The neighbor returns yet again and says, "What great news!"
The Chinese farmer replies, "Maybe."
Events in our life are neither good nor bad. They just are. We bring our own meaning to the unfolding of events.
A divorce might be criticized as being a failure, but maybe it frees that individual up for newfound depths of self love or the best relationship of their life.
A promotion might be heralded as the greatest achievement, but maybe it's the impetus for years of stress, anxiety, depression, and a life away from loved ones.
Being fired might feel like a personal attack or a scary abyss of the unknown, but maybe it frees you up to start the business you've always wanted to.
Nothing has to make sense.
A good life involves both ups and downs.
Everything's going to be okay.
Choose to live powerfully.
Here's to you Actualizing Your Potential!
--
With gratitude,
Dennis McGinley
Founder and Performance Coach @ STRIVENT
"Actualize your Potential!"
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